Obsession With Religion: Good or Bad? Part 1

Obession is dangerous. It's like a knife in the mind. In some cases... the knife can turn savagely upon the person wielding it... You use the knife carefully, because you know it doesn't care who it cuts.

- Stephen King

One of the symptoms of Asperger's syndrome is the obsession or fixation over an object and especially, a topic (such as film for me). For about the last 5 years of my life, I have been obessed with movies of all types. I became so obessed that I am able to play "Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon) on beck and call. My future goal is to become a filmmaker, but lately, I have been become more and more obessed with the very thing I am trying to escape - religion.

I would probably say that my obession began all the way back in June, when I first decided to leave Christianity (Those new might want to check out my deconversion post at the beginning of the blog). At that time, I began to visit Ex-Christian.net and Fundies Say The Darnest Things! (fstdt.com) as well as other sites as a form of research. I also visited a lot of filmmaking sites and researching editing platforms at the same time. As time went on, I began visiting Ex-C, FSTDT, and other atheist/deist sites a lot more. It came to the point that I would spend hours upon hours visiting these sites, looking at the same articles over and over again.

My original plans for the summer were to start filmmaking, by shooting short stories staring myself. I actually wrote a script and was getting ready to storyboard, but my daily pattern began to take control. By the time summer ended, I had accomplished nothing what-so-ever.

Now, with college coming up, I've been forced to evaluate what I want to do in life, and up until then I have been obsessed with religion. The worst part was I have not even noticed it.

With that said, I'm going to stop here and ask my readers (if there are any) one question. Is obsession with religion good or bad? Is it possibly acceptable, or downright wrong?

I'll leave the poll open until October 31st 11:59 PM EST time and, while you are at it, tell me what you voted and why?

I'll give my opinion and poll results on November 1st (Hopefully).

- TORM

P.S. Thanks for the votes on the last poll. I decided to tell a few friends that I trust, but no one serious for now.

To Denounce or Not to Denounce...

Motormouth Maybelle: Well, love is a gift, a lot of people don't remember that. So, you two better brace yourselves for a whole lotta ugly comin' at you from a neverending parade of stupid.

- Hairspray (2007)

The following quote comes from the 2007 remake of "Hairspray" with John Travolta in drag (Yes, that's right. Danny Zuko in drag). Anyways, the quote above comes in late within the film, but before the big, customary, and musical finale. After (I believe, as I am writing this at 4 AM in the morning, so what happened may not be accurate) Seaweed (Elijah Kelley) and Penny (Amanda Bynes) discovered that they loved each other and returned to Motormouth Maybelle's with Tracy (Nikki Blonsky). The quote above is Motormouth Maybelle's warning that there will be people against their love because of its difference.

Now, why did I quote "Hairspray" of all movies? Well, its the only quote I can think of that describes what I'm feeling at the moment.

To those who don't know (basically, with the blog being new, everyone), I have just deconverted and I now believe in deism. The part is I have yet to tell anyone face to face. Now, I attend a catholic high school (not telling what school to avoid tipping people off if I decide not to "come out") and one of the main goals of the school is to "increase our relationship with God". This was made clear a few weeks back when I was volunteering at my school for the freshman orientation. I only really do these events just to be with people (because people make people happy as I concluded) especially my friends.

My original plan was to tell one of my trusted (athiest) friends at this event that I am no longer a Christian, but she didn't show. Of those who did go, they were people (of upperclassmen) that I didn't really know, some who I knew a little more on but don't really trust, and those who I am "friends" with but cannot personally trust due to reasons I perfer not to go into here.

Anyways, my school's primary mission was made clear at this orientation. Basically the school priest (again, 4 in the morning and not thinking straight) was "leading the school" in its 1st prayer ceremony. It was like the mass, only without the host (or as I call it, the magic Cracker). Everything was going fine until we got to the homily. It's within this that he states the school's primary purpose, to "strengthen" our relationship with "God". He then goes on and states that if we fail to "strengthen" that relationship, then the school has "failed us".

Now, from my understanding, the purpose of school was for us to get an education so that we can gain knowledge and be productive and a good member of society. Not to "make our faith stronger". Continuing on...

The second time I began to notice my school's primary agenda was the same day, but at the 2nd prayer ceremony. Basically, the little freshman were getting hungry and bored and they started to "talk" during the prayer ceremony. He then goes on a screaming and mad as hell rant on how they are in the presence of "God" and that they should be respectful. Now, I fully understand why they need to be respectful (according to Christian dogma) but did they not realize that maybe they were hungry or that they really don't give a damn? Then, I began to realize that they were gonna shove all the Jesus they can down our throats, even if we throw it back up.

Now comes my dilemma.

I have yet to tell anyone face to face about my deconversion. I can't really tell my parents, as both are believers in one form or another. My out-of-school counselor is Jewish, but I don't see him for a while. My guidance counselor is very religious (not fundy religious, but religious enough that she tried to give me prayers to "help me"), and turning to her might prove fatal for any chance of getting into a college (as she has to give a reccomendation). Teachers aren't a good idea as well because I have to get a letter of reccomendation out of a few of them.

So that leaves my fellow classmates.

On one side, most really don't care about their faith. Most blow it off and don't really care about their faith. Hell, most say those magical two words every 4.2 minutes.

On the other hand, its a CATHOLIC high school and things get around in high school real fast. My main fear is the reaction I'll get from the higher-ups and teachers abroad. Many teachers know me as a "good boy" and "a really great person". The part is that many of these teachers are catholic and committed to their faith. With that being said, I risk putting myself on the cutting block Another problem is that the people that "I am friends with/hang out" most of the time are catholic to some extent and leaving the faith might be a social suicide.

I start of Friday and I need a bit of advice. Should I "come out" or keep it to myself? (That is what the next poll question is to those who care)

I'm really confused on what to do and its just one of those things that I need to see a few perspectives.

- TORM

Poll #1 Results - What religion/belief are you following?

After about 2-3 weeks of this blog up, our first poll with 23 votes has concluded!

Here are the results! (In order of highest to lowest)

1. Deism (10 votes)
2. Athiesm (7 votes)
3. Agnostic (3 votes)
4. No choice/beliefs (2 votes)
5. Christianity (1 vote)

The remaining (Judaism, Islam, Other) received no votes.

So tell me, what did you guys vote for and how did you find the blog?

The next poll question will go up when the next blog post is up.

- TORM

Quickie Post: The Bible, America's Favorite "Fictional" Storybook

Peter Griffin: [opening drawer] Hey, Lois, there's a Bible in here! [He opens the book and dances around with it] Hey, look at me! I'm a Christian! I'm reading the Bible!

- Family Guy

What if I was to tell you that there was a fantastic story book? In this book, we could hear stories in which mere mortal men could split the sea, could gather two of each species, raise men from the dead, and even get pregnant without doing the deed! Now, if you are one of the 1.5 to 2.1 billion Christians out there (or you read the title of this blog post/Family Guy quote), you probably got the fact that I was talking about the bible (a.k.a. The good book).

Now, many Christians hold this book as their authority when it comes to all decisions, for one reason. Just one simple reason. The bible is the word of "God", who's divine inspiration helped the writers craft such wondrous reading material. Thus, the bible is infallible and is perfect in all matters.

But what if I told you that the bible was "wrong"? What if the very book that many Christians base their lives on is not God's divine word, and thus fallible?

Well, your "good book" has a couple problems with it. It's major problem is that it has numerous, NUMEROUS contradictions (For the sake of not dragging things out, we are going to focus on three alone)

(NOTE: Please understand that the blog itself does not represent the opinions of any group. This blog is solely for discussion/informative/editorial positions. I understand that some feel strongly about the bible and their faith, but this is my personal view. Also note though that any attempts at re-conversion/trolling/spiteful remarks via comments will have their comments instantly deleted)

Now, contradiction one deals with conflicting stories on how man and woman were made. In Genesis 1:27

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.

Basically, "God" made man and woman at the same exact time.
But, in the very next chapter of Genesis, specifically in Genesis 2: 18-22

And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them.... And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.

The story has now changed that man came first, then came the animals, and Adam made Eve from his spare rib.

Hmm... "God" first makes Adam and Eve, but he then decides to take it back and start with Adam.

Contradiction 2 deals with where John baptized Jesus.
According to Matthew 3:4-6...

And the same John had his raiment of camel's hair, and a leathern girdle about his loins; and his meat was locusts and wild honey. Then went out to him Jerusalem, and all Judaea, and all the region round about Jordan, And were baptized of him in Jordan, confessing their sins.

... and Mark 1:9...

And it came to pass in those days, that Jesus came from Nazareth of Galilee, and was baptized of John in Jordan.

they clearly state that Jesus was baptized in the Jordan River.
BUT, in John 1:28 it clearly states that...

These things were done in Bethabara beyond Jordan, where John was baptizing.

it was not done in the Jordan River, but beyond there in Bethabara!
Now, its one thing if the two locations were close together, but apparently they were far beyond apart!

The final contradiction that we are going to point out is well, when we die, do we just die?
There are numerous quotes that contradictory for both sides, but we'll focus on two quotes, one on each side.

On the side of "You just die and that's it" we have Job 7:9 which state...

As the cloud is consumed and vanishes away, so he that goeth down to the grave shall come up no more.

that you become dinner for the worms, but in Isaiah 26:19, it states...

Thy dead men shall live, together with my dead body shall they arise. Awake and sing, ye that dwell in dust: for thy dew is as the dew of herbs, and the earth shall cast out the dead.

that those who died will live again!
But, in Job, didn't state that we just die?


Good, you pointed out three problems with the bible, so what?

Well, there are over 1400 contradictions, according to Skeptic's Annotated Bible, but even with three errors we can prove that the bible is not God's word.

We are going to use a simple logic theory, known as the transitive property, which states...

If a = b and b = c, then a = c

Now, most Christians state that the infallible "God" wrote the bible. The bible has contradictions. The equation would look like this:

infallible = "God" = bible (word of God) = contradictions

thus, the infallible word of "God" has contradictions.

BUT WAIT!
That doesn't make sense!
Contradictions can't be infallible because contradictions are wrong in the first place!
That means the bible is... is... incorrect!

Yes, the facts may seem to be pointing towards the fact that the book that Christianity bases its beliefs on is incorrect!

Now...

There are numerous reasons why the bible has some of these contradictions.
Some of the issues deal with translations made in the past.
This might have led to different translations.

Also, different versions of the bible contain different passages and may exclude some passages/books.

In conclusion, I barely scratched the surface on this issue and I plan to go no further with this issue in the near future.

The purpose of this was to expose the fact that the basis of the Christian faith may be flawed and thus, possibly not written by "God"

Before we leave:
"Quickie Posts" are usually me ranting on one issue or another mainly out of something I have noticed that I want to note.

They might also be (like in this case) more of a basic introduction to themes like this one.

- TORM

God's Will, Minister's Paycheck

Andy Sachs: That's not what I... no, that was different. I didn't have a choice.
Miranda Priestly: No, no, you chose. You chose to get ahead. You want this life. Those choices are necessary.

- The Devil Wears Prada

This conversation between Anne Hathaway and Meryl Streep's characters come at the end of the film, The Devil Wears Prada. Hathaway's character (Andy Sachs) is responding to a comment made by Miranda Priestly, editor-in-chief of a famous fashion magazine (Streep's character), who said that Andy was becoming a lot like her. The quotes above are Andy defending against the statement, and Miranda saying in a hatshell, you picked this path. I find this similar to what Christians call "God's Will".

For those who have no clue what "God's Will" is, it can be summed up like this (if you are a Christian, this would what you would probably say).

You see, God has a plan for all of us, even YOU! He knows when you'll be born, who you will marry, what your job will be, who will be your neighbor, he knows everything! Don't bother changing what you want to do in life, because God will come along and change it! And if you don't follow it, you are going to suffer and perish in hell!

Now, I think God's will is a load of crap made up by the church for many, many reasons. Namely because of the facts that:

1. God's Will is used to make people in non-desirable positions feel special and that they need to stay in their position, no matter how bad their situation.
2. God's Will encourages people who even passingly consider religious life that it is a calling and that it should not ignored at any cost.
3. Ministers use this to lure people in to these prophet events and crap for the sake of money.
   

1. God's Will is used to make people in non-desirable positions feel special and that they need to stay in their position, no matter how bad their situation.

The church relies namely on the believer's faith (belief without evidence) to keep them in their religion. Many of the church's believers have either mundane average lives, are miserable, and/or have little to nothing (family, freedom via jail/military, debt, etc.) To them, them hearing that they'll do great things or that God has special plans for them gives hope and meaning to their lives. Now, I'm cool and fine with giving people hope, but it becomes more of a "God put you there for a reason and you should stay there".

It doesn't encourage people to branch out and follow their dreams, to take a risk and view life from another side. It says that God put them in that position for a reason and they need to keep with it. It's like what you tell a "mentally-challenged person" to keep them loyal at a job at McDonalds. You say to them that they are going a great job, you are proud, have a great future in the restaurant, etcetera. You don't really mean this 100%, but your trying to keep them encouraged. Knowing that they are mentally challenged, they probably won't question what was said to them because of the fact that you gave them HOPE.

2.God's Will encourages people who even passingly consider religious life that it is a calling and that it should not ignored at any cost.

The church loves its priests. Is it because that they are loving and kind people that care about their community? Is it because of the fact that the church is the most loving body of people? Or is it because of the fact that they are so knowledgeable about everything? Well, no. The reason why the church loves it priests are for one reason and one reason only; they do all the dirty work for the church while the pope and higher official sit on their asses doing nothing of use to the world. The church gets whole credit while the priests get treated like crap and no credit.

I had an experience similar to that in my leadership program that my school has. The stated purpose of the leadership program is to "welcome new freshman into the school community and help them with their problems". Now, when they first presented us with the leadership program as freshman, I loved the people that I was grouped with, especially the upperclassmen that led it. Of course, naturally, I was excited when it came time that I could be in leadership. When I finally got into leadership, it was nothing as I expected.

I was placed in a group with mainly intelligent people (all but two of them were in AP courses), which made me feel out of place, and the one leading this group was the head of campus ministries, an old lady who basically questioned my intelligence (or lackthereof..) on numerous occasions. What about the freshman? Well accept for a few, only about two grew to like me. The others either made fun of me, or basically just didn't really care for my existence.

Now, how does this exactly relate to the topic at hand? Well, when we weren't helping freshman, we were doing the things that, well, needed to be done. Basically, we did all the administration's dirty work. That included putting up posters, making little carts so a wreath can stand on it, making a big poster of colleges that no one will look at. Yet, the administration blamed us whenever something went wrong and threatened to give us hell, despite the fact that we were giving up our free period to put up with their whining.

It's sorta like what the priests go through, except they are clueless to what goes on. Whenever a person leaves a church and it has to do with sex, we go blame the priests. Whenever the church community doesn't like the flowers in a flowerbed, they go whine and partially blame the priest for that. The thing is that priests give their own lives practically for their faith, and all they get in return is whining. They do all the dirty work that comes with running the church. But many are blind to what's really going on because they think they are doing Jesus and God "justice". They don't see that all their doing is leading the blind into a ditch of narrow-viewed thinking.

3.Ministers use this to lure people in to these prophet events and crap for the sake of money.

Although this mainly applies to TV evangelicals, it comes down to the same principle that a man named George Carlin stated:

And the invisible man has a list of 10 specific things he doesn't want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer, and burn, and scream, until the end of time. But he loves you.

He loves you.

He loves you and he needs money.

Now, recently the other night I was watching BET at two-threeish in the morning (when its most entertaining) when I came across Peter Popoff and his miracle manna! He promised that everything going wrong in your life will get better if you eat this manna.

The commercial starts with numerous amounts of money flashing on screen. 200, 250, 700, 314,564! The narrator then goes on to say that the lord can bless you financially if you do as this Peter Popoff said when you received this "mircale manna" that he was given to him by "God". What follows are testimonies of people cured by his manna, both at his healing events at different Airport strip Marriott Hotels and letters sent to him.

Now, this is starting to sound fishy. There are kids suffering in Africa, and "God" is going to give "Peter Popoff" the forumla to manna so it can help Americans. Big, lazy, fat Americans. Oh no, he's not going to help those who are actually suffering in places where suffering is common. He's gonna help the Americans, who are far better of than those kids in Africa.

Of course, he brings up you making a kind and prayerful donation. Now, every minister asks for money. And when I mean every minister, I mean EVERY MINISTER. There are some who legitimitely need the money. Even then, I question their need of it. If the church can afford to give the pope his own popemobile and take care of Vatican city, then why can't they afford to keep a church running?

How does "God's Will" figure into all this? Simple.

The minister says that it was God's Will that you are in this church and it was God' Will that he was there. He then states that he needs money to keep the church alive. Everyone donates.

What about the people like Peter Popoff and Benny Hinn? Well, they say that it was, guess... God's Will that you tuned in to this channel at this time. After an hour of "miracles", they say that the... they mean God needs money and urge you to donate! Come on, pick up that phone and give!

So....

if "God's Will" doesn't exist, then my life has no purpose?

The answer is no.

What I learned from my current life experiences is that only you are responsible for what happens in your life. Not "God", not Peter Popoff, not me, only you.

- TORM

The Testimony - Why I Left

Oh, I don't know why you're not there
I give you my love, but you don't care
So what is right and what is wrong
Gimme a sign

Those are the lyrics to one of the most memorable songs from the 90's, from the SNL-inspired comedy "Night at the Roxbury". It's Haddaway's "What is Love?". When I first heard it, I thought it was about a guy who cannot get a girl to fall in love with him, no matter what he does. But, in the last few weeks, this song has become much more to me. In a way, it's become an anthem for my departure from the faith.

The story of my faith starts out like everyone else's story. I was born and raised in the Roman Catholic Church From Birth. Dragged To church, but eventually "became a believer". Was "Confirmed" in the church and currently a senior in a Catholic High School. You get the picture.

In elementary school, I was what you would call "a retard". This was before Asperger's syndrome was publicly known. I stabbed myself with pencils and safety scissors on a daily basis. I cried nearly everyday for some stupid reason. Most of all, I wanted to die because I was tired of being made fun of and of all the dirty looks. The thing was that was when my belief in Christianity was at my strongest at that time. I always participated in church, had strong beliefs in the Bible and Ten Commandments. I also had strong respect for anyone who was a priest. But still, my depression was influential in my "prayer life". I remember once praying for God to kill me. I just remember myself saying, "Dear God, please kill me. I don't care anymore. I just wanna die." (A little freaky for a kid in 4th grade!)

My views on Christianity changed little by little. In 6th grade, I began to find the church (mainly Christianity) a milder form of crowd control. I remember noticing that everyone did what the church said, and didn't question what they stated. Although I began thinking like this, I still strongly believed in the church, including God and Jesus. Things would change, though, in my High School years.

During my early high school years (freshman/sophomore), my life would take a drastic turn for the worst. During this time, was at a time when I was going through with some life-changing personal issues, including a diagnosis with Asperger's Syndrome. During this time, I fell into and out of depression. I experienced numberous periods of being suicidal, and was even 51/50'd (in a way).

My views, though, drastically changed, though, Junior year. In Junior religion, the main priority was to learn more about the history of the church and the sacraments (remember those?). As I we were learning about this (mainly the sacraments), I began to realize that church was nothing more than just applied psychiatry. Reading the textbook, it went on about how the sacraments have ceremonies for the sake of being tangible, and that the sacraments bring the community together.

What really broke the camel's back was an "altar calling". I remember that all the religion classes has to do this "Vocation Day" where priests and religious people come in and tell us that we should become priests and give up everything for Jesus and all that "loving stuff". The person that came and talked to us was some young guy who was in the seminary. He was "kinda cute" (some of the girls went a little goo-goo-gaa-gaa over him). He first went off by saying that God's will was like a cell phone, and that we can receive God's calling at anywhere and at anytime. He then went on about how he decided to follow the "calling". He first started by basically "trying to connect to us" by telling his life story. He went to a catholic high school, had a girlfriend, liked computers, basically was the average teenager.

He then went on saying that his life changed when he volunteered to do this vounteer day for the church. The story he told could possibly be the next Hollywood/Christian preach movie. He went on saying that he was helping something and came in during mass. He saw the cross at the front of the church and he instantly "had a change of heart". He then went on, in dramatic fashion, to fall, knees first on the floor, and would start crying. What would follow conversation wise, would basically be my classmates asking this guy stupid questions on about what do they do in their free time, and the ever-so-popular "what ifs"

After the period ended, I went up to him to say thank you for talking to us. (I felt bad because my classmates were, in a way, mocking him) As I shook his hand, he asked me if I wanted to be a priest. I meant to say no, but because I was in a rush, I said "I don't know". He then went on to say that he was going to pray for me. At that exact moment, my stomach dropped and began to ache, and not in a good way. It was in the "Something doesn't feel right about this." feeling I get.

This got me thinking about something. What makes people truly happy? I know money, wealthy possessions, and lust don't make them happy. I also know (thanks to Britney Spears) that alcoholism and other addictions don't make people happy. What I have discovered is one simple thing.

Religion does not make people happy. People make people happy.

People go to religion hoping to find acceptance by others who promise to accept them no matter what they've done in hopes of finding happiness. The truth is that religion alludes to happiness, but you can never truly be happy. From what I've seen with the world, I am more happy when I am socializing with people rather than reading some history book.

I also could remember that the times that I was the happiest was when I was surrounded by people. Not prasing an invisible man who wants to smite us if we don't do exactly as we say.

I was a little hesitant on my thoughts, though, namely because I am surrounded by Christians. This caused an uneasiness in my stomach which went into the summer months. As this was happening, George Carlin had died. This launched a media frenzy and HBO began showing Carlin's specials like crazy. I was bored to hell, so I decided to watch them.

I'm not sure which one I watched, but he began to rip on religion and started saying how religion was a load of crap. I was intrigued and began getting hooked and laughing out loud. It was at this moment that I realized it was ok to think differently, even when everyone in the room will be against your decision and you can be successful. It was that moment that I officially denounced my faith.

I have decided, through getting called "ignorant" in chat rooms and forums, being spat upon by everyone, and some internet research, that I believe in deism. I do believe that there is someone/something that created us, I just have no clue on who created us. Will my beliefs change? Possibly. Will I return to Christianity? Hopefully, the answer is, and will always be, no.

I just want to make two random comments about "revealed religion" that I couldn't fit into the main body of this that I want to address.

1) It's funny that religion can question what I believe, but when I question something about religion, I get told to shut up and believe.

2) I want to say that although religion is applied psychiatry, all religions teach love and tolerance. Sadly, some jackass hijacks religion with fear -- all in the name of God.

As I conclude this piece, I just want to say that I am scared to admit it to everyone around me. Just about everyone that I know is Christian is some aspect and with most of them being the "go to church every Sunday and I love everybody" type, I worry that they'll reject me and basically turn their backs. Then again, if Christians are so tolerant of other faiths, then they should tolerate me.

I remember a few days after I denounced my faith, while my iPod was put into shuffle, the song "What Is Love?" by Haddaway came up. As I listened to it, I realized another possible meaning of the song. It's about "God", and that no matter what this guy does and how he praises him, "God" ignores him 100%.

As I realized then on, I was on the right path.

About The Blog
This blog is to serve as three things:

1. A journal/continuing testimony about deconverting
2. A social commentary (told in a humorus manner) on Christianity and Religion
3. Editorial views about events in the news revolving around religion

Your comments are, of course, welcome. Those of all faiths are welcome to comment as well for intelligent discussion upon why they worship. BUT... if you begin to play the "holier-art-thou" card (telling us we are going to hell unless we repent and accept Jesus, we are wrong, etc.), expect to have you comment deleted and/or your comment dissected on this site. I threaten this for one and one reason only.

I do not come to your Christian-based forums and say, "You guys are all WRONG and wasting your time worshipping a false man and...". I respect all faiths and religions. I believe there is no right answer concerning religion. I don't respect, however, people thinking they are better than me because of what they believe compared I believe. I find that mindset intolerant and hateful.

The comment system we use is the Disqus comment system. You can leave anonymous comments (you fill in the name yourself).

OR..... for to make it easier, you can signup for the Disqus comment system yourself. By signing up, you can customize your picture to show the world how l337 you are!

So, in conclusion, I hope that my readers find my blog (whether Deist, Atheist, Christian, Islamic, you get the point) thought-provoking to all and supportive to those leaving the faith.

- TORM (TheOtherRainMan)